Bah! I’ve never liked the sea. Dwarves weren’t made fer water—we belong on solid rock, not bobbin’ about like a drunk goblin on a barrel! But the captain, a fine lass with a sharp tongue, agreed to take us across to Nesathew if we pulled our weight aboard. So, I made meself useful, helpin’ Ordif in the ship’s kitchen an’ haulin’ sacks o’ grain like they weighed nothin’. Least it kept me hands busy.

Then came the shout—an echo through the lower decks that sent a chill down me spine. I turned to see little Mary, a fairy with a beard finer than any dwarf I’ve met, bein’ set upon by some boneless sack o’ cursed flesh! By Moradin’s hammer, it was an ugly sight! But Shadowstep was quicker than a goblin with stolen gold—one slice an’ the wretched thing was nothin’ but a mess o’ lifeless skin on the floor.

We took the news to the captain, an’ she ordered a full sweep of the Caldea—makin’ it clear we weren’t to lay a single boot near the locked room in the back o’ the lower deck. That sort o’ warning only makes a dwarf more curious, but I had other business. Mary an’ I checked the private quarters, an’ that’s when I saw it—a foul, wet, humanoid stain smeared on the wall. The smell was worse than a troll’s backside after a summer’s march. I’d heard tales o’ deep-sea horrors sneakin’ aboard in the dead o’ night to drag men screamin’ into the depths. Looked like we had one o’ them tales unfoldin’ before us.

Meanwhile, the young troublemakers—Dreafus, Icarus, an’ Shadowstep—were makin’ a right mess o’ themselves tryin’ to get into the forbidden room. I swear, at one point, one of ‘em was wedged half inside the blasted door like a rat stuck in a keg.

More damp marks turned up in the rooms near the bunks, along with somethin’ that made me beard itch—a stone-skinned goliath sprawled out in one o’ the beds. Turned out he was just meditatin’, but at the time, I had half a mind to drive me axe into ‘im to make sure he weren’t some cursed statue come to life. After reportin’ the whole mess to the captain, she put the ship on full alert.

We kept lookin’, but the damned sea spawn were nowhere to be found. Thought I had a lead when I found a foul stink in Ordif’s quarters—stench worse than week-old fish guts. A great damp stain on his bed with a wet trail leadin’ out the door. Rushed back to the kitchen, ready for a fight—only to find the big fool had spilled his drink in bed. By Moradin’s beard, I nearly split his skull open just for makin’ me heart race like that!

More damp patches showed up around the ship, but no sign o’ the bastards that left ‘em. I took up me post for the night watch, only to find Dreafus bickerin’ with some ancient elf over a wee pouch. Before I could get close, Dreafus upended the bag, an’ in the blink of an eye, the old codger flung himself overboard into the black depths below. Ain’t never seen an elf move that fast!

Then Shadowstep—bold as brass—decides to sneak into the captain’s quarters. A moment later, he comes boltin’ out, near missin’ a swing from a suit o’ armor that came to life! Serves ‘im right for stickin’ his nose where it don’t belong. The rest o’ the night passed without more madness, an’ I finally got some shut-eye.

When I woke, the sun was high, an’ the ship was in an uproar. I rushed up, only to find the sea spawn had finally been slaughtered—an’ I’d slept through the whole bloody fight! By me ancestors, I’ve never been so angry to miss a brawl in me life!

But the madness wasn’t done yet. For reasons unknown, the crew started haulin’ the ship’s cannons onto the deck an’ firin’ ‘em into the void! One off the front, two off the sides. The ship gave a mighty groan, then—CRACK!—split clean down the middle! Some damn fool had just sundered our only way across the water!

We scrambled into the rowboats, takin’ turns at the oars, but the cursed sea had more tricks up its sleeve. Soon as the waves turned nasty, the rotten wood splintered apart, leavin’ us all flailin’ in the drink like lost pups. If not for Mary an’ her wings, we’d be floatin’ down to the deep ourselves. She helped drag us to shore, an’ by the time me boots hit solid ground, I swore to meself—next time, I’ll take the long way around.

Why can’t anything ever be simple?!